I am.
I swear.
I'm past it.
I've now been without you more years than I was with you. So, we're OK. It's all done. Peace. Deuces.
But, there are a few things you should know
like
1) You would love my mother in law. You guys would talk about architecture and babies.
2) You would love New Jersey. You would soak the sun and rock the chairs. You would love the woman that married my father. She's not married to him anymore so it's OK. You guys would talk about me. And shoes.
3) And there is a universe that exists in which you still live with the blankets that swaddled. Me. You saved them in cedar. And it would feel so good to look at old photos and open old pantries. And grind old coffee. And sink old cushions. And be the special one. The favorite accident. The fat pixie.
4) And I don't know who created the universe with the ball that is eternally in my court.
And I don't know where any of this comes from. I honestly don't. I hate not having a point. I hate talking about me for a minute. I hate complicated. I hate people who have to go away. I hate not knowing where exactly one is and if one should get out of the tub. And I think you're a beautiful giraffe.
Never.
Mother.
Skin and Ghosts.
Saturday, January 4, 2014
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