Sugar Camp

1) Professor fantastic, if I remember correctly, says Just Say It. For this class, just say it. That's not a direct quote. I must be paraphrasing. I must be. Because it's not a performance class, it's a poetry class. So maybe she said, just write it.

2) It makes sense though. It makes sense in a class. In a workshop. Even out of a workshop if you want to take it home with you. It's a good rule to always follow and sometimes break. Sure, there's an appropriate established time to not really say it exactly, that's a choice. But, in a workshop, in an early draft. In a beginning. In an emerging. In a hopeful. In a letter to a young. Say it. For god sakes. If you want a response you're going to have to meet me half way.

3) Gamma died.

4) Passed. She passed. Her name is/was Joann. Actually it'(s)/((was)) spelled Joan, but pronounced Joann. And Joan is actually her middle name. It's a tradition in her family to call folks by their middle names. For example Lynn Baber's name is actually Carol Lynn Baber. (I have no idea what Joan's first name is. I call her Gamma. Most people do.)

5) Gamma is Lynn's mom. Lynn calls Gamma Mamma. Sweet mamma.

6) I met Lynn when she saved my life when I was fourteen. I met Gamma when I met Lynn. If Lynn loved me, Gamma loved me. That's the way it works. That's the way it is. That's it.

7) I love you too. I love you so much.

8) It's devastating.

9) It's an extraordinary life to celebrate.

10) The memorial was packed. Packed and happy in that devastating way. There are lots of me's. None of us would miss Gamma's memorial for anything, we were all there, folding in on each other like puppies. Gamma's home was a resting place for, for... For people who, for people who, well, ummm... For people. For anyone. Her home was for anyone. Everyone.

11) I read a poem. Lynn asked me if I would read, and I said yes. That's the way it is. When Lynn asks me for something, I say yes of course. My voice shook uncontrollably, I felt like a bird, or a sniffling "best actress." Oh my gosh, I felt my heart beating in my face. a.) Because I was trying so hard not to cry up there, please just cry in the parked car Jessica, and b.) Because I was standing in front of the most talented theatre artists in the country. Possibly the world.

12) It's July. The cherubs are here.


13) God Bless.


~Skin & Toast & Jessie