Friday, July 15, 2011

Dumb Doors

So, I gather this is the end of it.
The last movie comes out this midnight.
The books have been done for like three years, right?
Maybe that was actually the end.
And this is just fluff, tease. Glitz.
I'm not really one to say.
I was never on this train.
One summer in Jersey, I remember reading a chapter out loud to my bros.
Cock sucker and fake mom were out for the night, I read a good fifty or so pages before they got sand bags on the face.
But, then the next morning I walked into the living room with a wait a second.
Cock sucker was re reading it out loud to them.
And I was like, is it that important?
Actually I think I got pissed.
Like, what, you don't trust me?
You're jealous?
Oh, right, I just hate you no matter what you do. Even if it's really not that big a deal.
Then, like, lots of years later I tried to read them my self.
My, peers, quite a few of them anyway, some of which I greatly respect, as commanders of the english language, they really read them. They buy them in hard cover, or they did. They'll probably even read them to their children. They're true fans.
But, me, no, couldn't crack it. Don't think I got past page thirty four.
Maybe it's just a style thing, fantasy doesn't really do it for me.
Unless it's just right.
Just nuzzled just enough, like a mulching duck.
Like the Lovely Bones.
Time Traveler's Wife.
Read it.
Found myself getting into it.
But, ultimately didn't linger on it with the rest of the planet.
I just didn't see the point of telling that story, I didn't see any investment, any true belief.
Nothing was in it for me.
You can get me to time travel with you, I'll do anything, but time travel is not my normal, so if you put it on the twelve page, where does that leave me?
Somewhere deep in the buckingham tasty hot crowd, stroked with heat and more interested in my snow cone then the mortality of your alien characters.
But, I liked that it was set in Chicago, I got all the references, and that made me feel special.
And then I saw that Audrey Niffenschmaker at some event, and she was so odd, the oddest of birds, I couldn't stop looking at her, it was like, oh, of course you wrote that. And that made me want to read it again.
I remember her royal Oprah interviewed dame JK, it was interesting hearing her talk about everything, I appreciate writer's as celebrities, I think, but I also remember thinking, wow, I just lost an hour of my life. I could have written a lot in that hour. Too late. Did I clean the litter box today?
But, I know kids, that generation just below, they love it, love, true, puppy, sacred, magic.
And kids reading, can't argue with that.
And magic, secret earth magic, give it to them.
Of course.
The thought of young people doing exactly what they're supposed to do, curling up by a water hole with their first chapter book.
Thank you to all the writer's for young audiences.
Rachel Wilson.
But, kids, don't stop there, I can show you some stuff that will blow your mind, go up a floor please, OK, yeah, it's cool, I know you will.

I think the only thing that pisses me of royally, to that daddy level, is when we get to things like theme parks. Come. On. Does Dave Eggers have a roller coaster? No, he tutors, he sets up writing centers across the globe, se where I'm going with this?

And I keep hearing things like the most famous popular rich enterprise million of all time.

According to who?

T-Rex is in my top three. He's my third richest writer. And I'm not even talking dimes or words. I'm talking dead birds and sun chips.

All I'm saying is people, keep your minds open. When someone says look over there.

Always ignore them.

And I just heard some reviewer compare JK to DICKENS. Do not get me started.

Nother day at the table,

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